I always joke I run a circus, not a household, and that I should charge admission rather than post our adventures for free on FaceBook. Today's events are further proof I run a circus.
10:30am: resolved not to be late to 1130 lunch date with my Aunts to celebrate 2yr old's birthday a little late. Start kids on bathroom trips, acquiring shoes, drinks, toys, etc.
10:35am:4yr old announces he needs to poop. <great, gonna be late anyway!>
10:45am: 4yr old announces he peed on himself and his clothes and shirt on the floor in front of the potty. <Really? Seriously?>
10:55am: Got the 4 yr old and bathroom cleaned and redressed and ready only to discover he'd left out the markers. While I was cleaning up the first mess, the 2yr old found the markers and inked a lovely mural on himself. <I didn't know we owned non-washable markers?!> Scrubbed till he was pink and gave up.
11:15am: in the car. Finally. <SO LATE, nevermind that there is now no time to go to the bank or get gas. Hope there's enough $ and gas. Probably not.> Screaming and fighting all the way to the restaurant. At photo-enforced intersection, light turns yellow while in intersection and driver in front of me inexplicably brakes so my tail is in intersection when camera flashes. <great, just great>
11:45am: lunch at restaurant. kids surprisingly well behaved. Compliments given to 2 year old on his green tattoo.
12:40am: drive to officemax to see an empty building for lease. Phone won't load alternate locations, so drive around looking. Found one in adjacent shopping center. Realize I don't know the model of my printer and phone is still uncooperative, but has no problem delivering the email that my bank account is overdrawn.
12:55am: leave officemax with ink i hope will work, since I had a little trouble reading the packages with any concentration, after offering (unsuccessfully) to trade my hooligans for the ink. Officemax staff was not impressed with their highly developed skills of knocking things off of shelves and running and screeching thru the store, so they declined my offer. Go figure. Got honked at while more than 20ft from a motorist on the cross street so I flipped her the bird (under the dash-must set a good example of passive aggressiveness for my kids!).
1:15pm: at bank to make deposit and get cash and can't find ID. Turns out it was buried in my bag because I'd taken it out of my wallet and put it with the checks and it slid out from between them when I picked them up out of my bag. Fight with kids about why they don't get to eat the suckers the teller gave them.
1:55p: kids in bed for nap. Searched unsuccessfully for a corkscrew. Oh well. 2 yr old will never miss the rest of his birthday cookies.
Good grief!
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